-Recyling some old writings, the below was a musing I wrote in June 2013-

As of late my daily rituals (habits) have poignantly become stark impressions poking out in my psyche. They’ve become scattered and consequently, so has my mind. Sleep in, meditate when the mood strikes. The essence of feeling like a will-o’-the-wisp unto my own sense of purpose, a fuzzy light that distracts you from the path. Am I really being led astray, or just hanging out at the rest stop longer than instincts permit?

In any case, I found myself in a sly haze which crept upon me in a day and I do not fight it but say “ok.”  A layer of me has been called to fade away. At moments, part of ourselves we must let die. They represent old patterns, outdated modalities (a word I have used a lot over the years), a part of our skin that no longer can sheath us. I have learned over time to observe and learn from nature. To embrace our inner winters & summers. I also am at a crossroads.

A few days ago I dreamt of driving down a highway. I wanted to go to the right when I came to an intersection but had to turn something in on the direction to the left. A sense of responsibility called me to the left. I decided I wanted to turn to the right but it was already too late. As I came to an off ramp down the left road, there was a jam. The turn too sharp, I crashed and was thrust out of my car, landing into the grass and dirt meridian. Someone had pulled over wanting to call 911. I thought I was physically fine, but from the depths of my soul I wailed into the dirt I laid face down upon, for the “waste” the past 6 years have been. Upon waking I reminded myself with compassion I had usually done my best with any given circumstance despite my coming of age to “what have I accomplished with my life?” The past week or so I’ve had to remind myself my inner successes are beyond any outward success.

With the dream’s meaning lingering, I slowly set out to burn off old residues and step into a new light. To separate from my old self and move into a higher operating me. To really engrain this, I see into my daily rituals. What am I doing every day and where do these actions and habits lead me?  They say what you do every day you become. I’ve had an opening created so I can birth something new into my world.  It’s the moment to work my magic to determine just what that shall be.

My deeds. Bricks I lay for future roads. Weaving elements into a new web frame I step into and wear like a shawl. We create our ships through the world this way. A long time coming I’ve had the calling to tap into my feminine power. I begin to speak to that force within and it responds. Just a quick call won’t do. It’s said if you want to establish any habit, it must become a daily ritual for 3 months before it becomes automatic. My body/mind/soul become aware of this new exploration through my guidance. Provide the time to dive in and feel. For the rituals that reflect the fruit you yourself are.